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Saturday,
December 13, 2003
Because I have the maturity of a 3rd grader...
this
warms my heart.
- declared by Liusia @ 3:27
PM
Friday,
December 12, 2003
Spin Spin Spin!
It's
been a busy couple of days, and I am feeling like a very mentally
dull right now, but I feel like I ought to post anyway. So here
are the cool things that the last few days have featured:
Lenin's bedroom: Immediately following the Revolution,
the Bolsheviks took over the Smolny Institute (which was originally
a school for making young genius girls) and used it as their
government headquarters. Lenin and his wife stole the French
professor's room to sleep in and the headmistress's room for
an office. I toured the building on Wednesday. Lenin's room
smelled strongly of elderly woman.
The Peacock Clock: In the Hermitage, there is a clock,
although I'm not sure it's fair to call it a clock anymore,
since it now only shows any kind of activity on Wednesdays at
5 pm, whereupon an old man goes in there, winds it up, and starts
the thing in motion. First of all, a little gold owl in a little
gold cage blinks it's eyes, spins around, and chimes play. Then,
a tremendous golden peacock, and I kid you not, spreads its
tail, then spins around and moons you. Then, a little golden
rooster makes unholy noises that I imagine are supposed to sound
like crowing. Then, the old man says, "Okay, that's it!"
The whole apparatus is the size of my Freshman year dorm room.
The Horse Mummy: In the Hermitage, there is a mummified
horse. You have to take a secret passage to get to the room,
though. I don't think a lot of people find it (it's nigh impossible
to accidentally wander in) and the little old lady who sits
in there was so excited to see Sofia, Andrew, Amanda and I that
she ran around showing and telling us about all the artifacts
in her exhibit, including a felt horseblanket from like 500
BC. She seemed a little sad when we left. I bet we were the
only people she'd seen in days.
The Pelmeni Boys: For dinner on Wednesday, we went to
the little tavern I've mentioned a few times. The same boys
that we got drunk with last time were there. They saw us, and
being highly mature, started laughing hysterically. We laughed
equally heartily. It was silly.
Betrothal in a Monastery: This is one of Prokofiev's
operas, and we went to see it on Wednesday. It was ridiculous,
Soviet and highly enjoyable. It took place in Spain, and I think
the main point of the opera was that Westerners are silly and
dissolute. The most iconic characters were the drunken, nun-lovin'
monks, whose main chorus went something like this: "Hooray,
wine! We drink the wine and spin! Spin spin spin!" But the best
line of dialogue of the whole night belonged to Don Gerome (yes.
Gerome): "Recently, I chased you away from my house
with a shoe, but now I'm glad you're my son-in-law!"
I will be purchasing the soundtrack.
Last day of class: Thursday was the last day of class.
THANK GOD.
Happy New Year's: On Thursday, the St. Petersburg Times
had a New Year's party. There are those that would suggest that
New Year's should be celebrated on New Year's Eve, or even a
day near New Year's Eve. Those people are not Russian.
It was held at a restaurant on the Gulf of Finland. There was
mulled wine, of which I approve. Staff writer Matt got snookered
enough that he overcame what he termed his "British stolidity"
and not only danced, but got me to dance, which is
a true feat.
Cossacks: Today, Sofia, Amanda and I watched several
hours of a miniseries about cossacks. Sofia bought the miniseries
on DVD, and in true Russian style, it turned out to be a random
sampling of episodes in no particular order. So we had no idea
what was going on, except that it was awesome. The show is called
Bayazet, which we though referred to the main character
(who was quite attractive in a sort of scruffy squinty way),
but after much confusion and humorous misunderstanding, realized
that it was the name of the fortress in which the characters
abided. We continued calling the guy Bayazet anyway. He had
a best friend who looked like Gogol. Gogol, much like the real
Gogol, seemed be quite gay, and was in love with Bayazet. But
Bayazet loved nothing but his horse and the hookah, really.
The main theme of the show (the plot was difficult to follow,
what with the episodes being out of order and incomplete) seems
to be Bayazet going around and being mean to people. I approve.
Yeah, that's all.
- declared by Liusia @ 3:36
AM
Tuesday,
December 09, 2003
So, instead of going to bed, I took some online quizzes.
|
I have issues with... |
patience
trauma
past
family
murder
|
Take
Word Association Test
Ha!
- declared by Liusia @ 1:52
PM
Update:
Oh,
I'm feeling SO MUCH better now. Sonya just got a document
in the mail, and it was in Spanish, so she asked me to translate
it for her. Turns out it's from her sister's lawyer in Spain
(her sister was this big opera singer, and moved to Spain
to be an opera singer there, then had a brain tumor or some
shit like that and the operation to remove it paralyzed
her, and now she's slowly dying and her husband abandoned
her so she's, like, sitting in a hospice somewhere, alone)
and it's a Last Will and Testament. Nothing quite like translating
someone's half-dead sister's will for them to brighten their
day...and yours, for that matter. This day is so ass. I
think I'll just go to bed.
- declared by Liusia @ 12:55
PM
Monday,
December 08, 2003
Blah blah blah
I'm
sick and I'm hungry. I really want to eat something, but
I'm all barfy, and there are no damned soda crackers in
all Russia, and I don't have the energy to go out and
buy chicken bullion cubes and Sprite. So I tried to find
something in the kitchen that wouldn't make me toss cookies,
and ended up having a meal of yogurt, coffee and crutons.
It's times like this that I really, REALLY want to go
home.
Blah.
I've been trying to come up with an entry that's not boring
as hell, and failing. I have stuff to SAY, but it's all
coming out pedantic and stupid. So here, a have a picture
instead.

A
Lenin impersonator feeds the pigeons in Red Square
(thanks, Rahma)
It's kind of eerie, if you think about it. Lenin's tomb
is totally in the background.
Oh! Okay, I do have something to share. Look what I found
Monday! Hooha! The holy grail!
Yes, I finally, FINALLY came across a Lada-driving-into-a-canal
sign when I actually had my camera. Man, I love that sign.
Look, it practically glows, too. That's totally an effect
of the flash, but let's pretend like it's a message from
God or something.
As long as I'm posting pictures, here's the Pizza Hat.
I realize that the humor of the Pizza Hat has already
been exhaused among all Americans who have ever been to
Russia, but it still might be funny to those of you who
haven't, you know, seen a Pizza Hat. See, when Pizza Hut
came to Russia, they just transliterated the name, instead
of translating it. But there's no letter for "H" in Russian,
or, for that matter, an "uh" sound. So they write "Pizza
Xat." And the X makes kind of a "Kh" sound. And that little
red roof looks a whole lot like...well...a hat. So, ha,
ha...yeah, it's not actually funny, sorry. But I've already
typed all this, so here's the picture:
And as long as I had my camera Monday night, I figured
I might as well try to capture on film the creepiness
of the St. Petersburg Times office. I believe I've mentioned
that we're housed in an abandoned palace, right?
Okay, so that doesn't capture it at all. But it's the
best I could do, people. There are no lights, so pictures
just don't turn out. This picture is taken from the 2nd
floor stairwell landing. You can see the big marble pillars,
the arches with their crumbling paint, the horrible Soviet-era
elevator that no one will take because it looks like sure
death, and best of all, that huge, huge wrought-iron candelabra
with no candles in it, just dust and cobwebs. It's unnerving
as hell to leave work alone at night. Then, you get out
into the courtyard and finally feel free of the place,
and the gatekeeper creaks her elderly way out of her hut
with an immense keyring of immense keys and opens the
iron gates, slowly, deliberately, creakingly. Sometimes,
she just looks at you all balefully, muttering under her
breath. One time, though, she was in a better mood than
usual, and told me that I was going to work myself into
an early grave, staying so late.
When I leave Russia, I think I'm going to miss the gothic
horror the most.
- declared by Liusia @ 4:06
PM
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